


All is Different Now

by Galrafloofandlove



Series: Sheith Angst Week 2018 [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Sheith Angst Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 21:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galrafloofandlove/pseuds/Galrafloofandlove
Summary: Day Eight: Free DayWe didn't get much of Keith mourning Shiro's disappearance after s2.Well, here I am to deliver.





	All is Different Now

“I'm really sorry, Keith. There's nothing I can do…” Pidge gave a sorrow filled sigh, turning to look over at the black haired teen from where he stood behind her.  
“There has to be something!” Keith snapped, balling both of his hands into fists at his sides. Tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes as his voice cracked.  
Pidge shook her head and closed the lid of her laptop.  
It had been five quintants since the fight with Zarkon, five quintants since Keith ran faster than he ever had before to the black lion, shaking tears out of his eyes. Since he said looked into the empty cockpit of the lion, and his mind ran through a million different explanations. Any explanation that didn't result in one word.  
Death.  
He stormed out of the Green lion's hangar, and he tuned out any sound as he stormed down the hallway with heavy footsteps. 

The door to his room opened with a gentle swish, and he buried his head in the pillow before the tears started flowing. 

He thought back to the time he thought he lost Shiro, when Iverson had come to his room personally and told him the news, as Shiro had requested Keith was one of the first to know if he passed on the mission.  
When Keith convinced himself Shiro wasn't dead, that the evidence and news the Garrison was putting out didn't add up somehow, that something was wrong. When he was expelled and living alone in the desert, watching the wind carry the sand past the old dusty window with small cracks gracing the surface. When Keith looked up at the stars and hoped Shiro was looking at the same sky as him.  
It all felt too real again, like those memories were just being re-lived in a different place.  
He thought back to the other’s words.  
“You need to move on.”  
“He's gone.”  
“There's nowhere else to look.”  
“There's nothing I can do.” 

There's nothing he could do. 

He just laid in bed with his face to the pillow and sobbed. 

~~~~~~

“I'm sorry, Shiro.” 

He looked up at the black lion, laying in front of him. It was still out of commission, as Keith had refused for Allura and Coran to fix it until they found Shiro...until he made sure her pilot was safe and her rightful pilot was returned to where he belonged.  
He had returned to the battle site once again- Zarkon's ships had left the premise the tick the battle was ended, and every quintant Keith would search through the rubble trying to find anything relating to Shiro- any little chunk of broken paladin armor, any personal things Shiro might have stored in the lion that fell out, anything that could give them a lead into what happened, and where their leader was.  
He had found nothing once again, but he was determined to keep looking, he was determined to find Shiro. He did it once before, he would do it again. He would do it as many times as it takes.  
~~~~~~

“Why did you choose me?” Keith asked, sitting on the metal floor of the black lion's cockpit. He still didn't feel comfortable sitting in the pilot's chair when he wasn't flying the lion, he felt that he would be disrespecting Shiro somehow. But something about being in her cockpit comforted him. Like her presence made him feel calm and collected, and he could just talk to this giant mechanical lion to soothe his lingering worries. But one question still itched in the back of his mind, and she hadn't yet answered.  
He sighed. “Why are you even letting me pilot you? I can't be a leader...I can't be Shiro.”  
No answer.  
What was he even expecting? That this ship was going to talk to him and soothe him about his missing friend?  
Honestly, from being throw out into space and into an intergalactic alien war after finding your best friend who everybody assumed was dead and finding out you're part of the alien race you're supposed to be defeating, he wasn't really sure what to expect anymore. His entire life had been flipped upside down so many times, from his dad’s death making him an orphan, to getting into the Garrison, and now being in space.  
“I mean, what's even the point anymore?! Shiro never gave up on me, and I can't even do the same for him. I can't be a leader. I can't be a leader for this team when I can't even keep myself together enough to not lash out!” His voice grew hoarser as tears started to run down his cheek. The team had never seen him cry. The only times he had cried since he’d been in space was with Shiro, and in the safety of his locked room. This was the first time he cried inside a lion. And yet he shouldn't even be here, yelling about his worries. He shouldn't be yelling about them at all. People had it worse than him. Some people were in Galra control, being labor slaves or forced fighters. People like Pidge struggling to find their families in the vacuum of space. There were always people worse off, and what he was experiencing was nearly nothing compared to others.  
“I'm sorry.”  
He gulped and took a long breath before he spoke next, a few tears rolling off his cheeks and dripped onto the floor.  
“I'm sorry I'm not the leader you deserve.”  
His cries grew into hiccupping sobs, and he felt something trying to calm him. Rubbing at his shoulders trying to soothe his pain, but when Keith looked, nobody was there. He was still alone in the black lion’s cockpit, the cold metal floor underneath him wet with his own tears. The collar of his t-shirt was sticking into his chest from the tears that had soaked the fabric.  
As his hiccups eased down to tears he could hold back, he said one last thing before standing up and wiping his tears away and exiting the cockpit.  
“I’m sorry I couldn't find him.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://galrafloofandlove.tumblr.com)! || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/GalraFloof)


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